I’ve been giving a lot of thought to how to be positive. I’ve now got some kind of handle on gratitude as the way to stay positive. The next thing is how to be grateful without being Pollyanna or thankful without having to go to church and sing praises. Here’s how.

I’ve just finished an article on Naikan, which is a Japanese meditation/self reflection/instrospection practice used in mental health, business and counselling. It comes from a very rigorous Jodo Shinsu Bhuddist discipline and has been adapted so that you don’t have to live in a dark cave without light, water or food or sleep (I said it was rigorous, didn’t I?).

There are three questions to reflect on and ask about you in relation to other people, one at a time. In the Bhuddist practice, you start with your mother – whatever your relationship is with her –  then move on to others.

The three Naikan questions
* What have I received from (…..)?
* What have I given to (……)?
* What troubles and difficulties have I caused to (….)?

The third question is the most difficult – and you’ll notice that there isn’t a fourth, corresponding question. That’s because most of the time we are aware of how other people cause us inconvenience or difficulty and not the other way round.

Try it. It’s more interesting than you think.

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